Finding your Genius and Becoming uncompromisingly you
Being unapologetically yourself is one of the hardest things we can do, but coach and TedX speaker Niko Everett has made it her life mission to help women and girls break the rules and be brilliant in who they are. In this episode she talks about her concept of being "Bad and Brilliant" and how it applies to every woman.
HOW DID SHE GET HERE?
Niko defines herself as a “change agent” and works with women to help them learn how to talk about themselves. Her day job is a business coach but she loves to call herself a change agent because it’s so important for her to help women connect to power. She coaches women at the highest levels of leadership, and works with women to help them grow to six figures. Niko feels like that stems from her not growing up with that. As she describes, she didn’t have the “normal, TV upbringing”, and she was constantly trying to figure out how to get power and freedom.
She found her way into college, which was difficult because she wasn’t sure what that was supposed to look like since her parents didn’t go to college. When she got out with an art history degree and a minor in women’s studies, she felt really lost. She started working for a non-profit, and eventually started an organization called Girls For A Change, which she ran for 10 years. Now Niko has put all of her learnings together with the personal development that she had to do to feel worthy, and she teaches other women those strategies.
WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE ‘UNCOMPROMISINGLY YOU’ AND HOW DO PEOPLE GET THERE?
Being uncompromising is knowing what you’re expected to do, but then choosing what you actually want to do. You have to find what will make you happy and make you feel lit up, and then find the balance. Of course we can’t live completely uncompromising lives - we make compromises all day long, but you have to find the parts of yourself that you know you need to keep lit up.
“In order to tap into our brilliance, we’ve got to break the rules.”
You have to take a look at all the rules that you live your life by, and then decide “do I want to keep following those rules?” You’ve got to be willing to break the ones that no longer serve you and keep you from your brilliance. We’re all going to live different lives, so ensure that you know what your genius is, and that you’re following rules that support that genius.
HOW CAN WOMEN BALANCE STEPPING INTO THEIR BRILLIANCE WITH FEELING “MOM/WIFE/FRIEND GUILT”?
There are 3 things that you need to be: Bad, Blissed out, and Bold. With bad, this is where you’re going to look at the rules that are defining your life. Make a list of the top 10 rules you follow and decide which ones you want to break because they’re in the way of you being happy. For example, rules of perfection, being busy, having a clean house, etc. For the ones that don’t serve you and allow you to be your best, how can you rewrite that rule?
To be blissed you, make 4 promises to yourself of things you’re going to do every single week to maintain your power and your best self. We’ll keep promises to everyone except ourselves, so you need to create the 4 non-negotiables for your life (ex: exercising every day, turning off the computer at a certain time, getting at least 8 hours of sleep, etc.) and promise yourself that you’ll stick to those at least 80% of the time. Lastly, be bold by breaking the habit of saying yes, when you actually mean no. So often, especially as women, we feel like we HAVE to say yes, and there’s a lot of energy behind that.
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